1. You like to smoke.
2. A cigarette is your best friend and you love the ritual
attached to it.
3. You need it to calm you down or help you finish a meal.
4. You love the way your hair and clothing smells.
5. You love the way your breath smells, and how nice and
brown your teeth are.
6. You enjoy
paying buckets of money for something that might kill you.
7. You think you will live forever because lung cancer and
emphysema only affect others.
8. You are not upset being short of breath when you
exercise.
9. You think you look cool smoking.
10. You think it is a good way to meet the love of your
life.
11. You like the color of the stuff you cough up in your
mid-winter bronchitis.
12. You enjoy the shame and pity showered on you by those
who pass you by on the street.
Do stop smoking if you believe that
you deserve to be healthy and happy, and want to live a long, smoke-free life.
If you really, really want to stop, try this: Count the number of cigarettes you
smoke each day. Starting tomorrow take away one cigarette from that number
until you are down to five. Smoke five cigarettes a day for two weeks. Then,
when you are ready, say to yourself “I know I am an addict but I do believe I
can have a nice life without tar and nicotine.” Then, when you feel the urge to
smoke, ask yourself “Can I wait five minutes or am I a hopeless, pathetic junkie?” If you can wait five minutes you have a very good chance of being able
to kick this nasty habit. After waiting five minutes you will still want to
smoke so wait another five minutes. If you can wait through the third
five-minute period the urge to smoke should subside and probably won’t come
back for a while. In the meantime, if you want some oral gratification, suck on
something like a lollipop, carrot, or a stick. If you really want a good laugh,
suck on your thumb.
If you desperately need a drag go
ahead and light up, but get a paper napkin ready because we are going to have
some fun while we smoke. Take a long, hard drag and then blow the smoke out
through the napkin. Do this with every smoke-filled exhalation. By the time you
finish your cigarette you should have a napkin filled with some rather nasty
stuff. That is what is filling your beautiful lungs each time you light up. Your
sensible self wants to live but this invasive, brown gunk wants to kill you. Smell
it, taste it. When you are ready, decide who is going to run the show––you or
the weed.
